Everybody knows the story of little red riding hood. By all accounts she was a sweet little girl who wanted nothing more than to see her granny but what you didn’t know is the kind of girl she really was and to be honest, she really isn’t all that pleasant.
Little red riding hood has had enough today
the wolfs in a peculiar mood and has bloody run away.
the brand new axe she carries is no longer any use
because you can’t use a battle axe to skin a bloody goose.
Little red riding hood is marching o’er the glen
that wolf has gotta be somewhere, now where’s it’s bloody den?
She’s angry now, our soldier. She wants a bloody war.
For the only thing she loves today is blood and muck and gore.
Little red riding hood is throwing a right strop.
That wolf has buggered off again after robbing her nans shop.
It wouldn’t have made a difference if the damn thing stayed at home
because our soldiers on the warpath an’ her mouth’s started to foam.
Little sweet red riding hood is spittin’ blood with rage.
That wolf that nicked her whiskey, it needs lockin’ in a cage.
She’s sick to death of lookin’ for where the wolf did go.
The damn thing deserves an arrow but she broke her bloody bow.
Little dear red riding hood is furious and more,
and when she finds that bloody wolf she’ll nail it to the floor.
She’s had enough of wolves and the mayhem that they make,
and red riding hood is craving now a medium rare wolf steak.
The wolf has spied red riding hood out the corner of its eye
it knows its in deep trouble but it doesn’t want to die.
It scarpers through the forest runnin’ just as fast as hell
because the last thing that it wants today is to hear its own death knell.
It’s out of luck, the silly thing, it’s running the wrong way
and red riding hood is ready an’ her axe begins to sway.
The wolf it hasn’t noticed the sharpness of the blade
an’ it doesn’t stand a bloody chance against red riding hoods crusade.
And as its head flies in the air and o’er the bloody hill
Red riding hood is sated after gaining a fresh kill.
No more will that bloody wolf now burglarise her store
because it’s head is somewhere over there and its bloods all o’er the floor.
So what ever you do don’t wind her up or red riding hood she will
come after you for answers and your blood she’ll want to spill.
She’s a little bloody monster, despite her meagre size
and if you do get in her way, she’ll take your hide as prize.
The painting used as a background image is by the artist A. R. Naylor and was the inspiration for this poem after I saw it on the Facebook group Imagi Nation https://www.facebook.com/keepmakingmoreart