I always find about me sections sound very dry and wooden. “Hi my name is… I like…”. Face it, half the time they sound like they are written by a guy applying for a job at McDonalds. Some pimply faced youth with a degree from the University of Miami. All you need to qualify there is a 10 bit and a bong; whilst the other half of the time they simply come across as the proverbial Hey Ma, look it’s me.

In my working life I’m a Release engineer/ Software deployment architect for Hewlett Packard Enterprise Security Services. I go to work, write code, drink coffee, have a laugh with my team mates, all the usual stuff a man needs to do to put bread on the table; but outside of work its a whole different kettle of fish.

So what else is there to know about me? Well as you have probably noticed I’m a mediocre photographer, amateur composer and wannabe author who doesn’t know when is best to quit.

That being said, when I’m not busy programming tomorrows universe I enjoy long walks in the country, crime thrillers and spending time with my cat. With a variety of instruments in my collection you’d think I would make time to learn to play them but for the time being they are one of those tasks I might get round to one day, right after I’ve exhausted re-runs of American television, drunk Arabia dry of coffee and consumed Italy’s annual quota of pizza.

So who am I really? Well I’m just an average guy with a strange sense of humour and an intellect I don’t really know how to use or control. Maybe one day I’ll find out where I stand in the world but until then, well if you spot any signposts let me know.

By the way, the bit about the University of Miami isn’t true. It was Huddersfield that I went to. That one’s even worse. You don’t even need a bong.

Martin